Saturday, November 6, 2010


Someday I am going to die.  It's inevitable.....I'm not special.  In fact, as my dad says, "It's one of the only guaranteed absolutes about us all." 

Thanks in large part to my family, especially the courage of my NAN, I am not afraid to pass on when my time is up.  All of my things are in order, I'm confident that I'm going to heaven, and I hope that I will see all of you again someday.

Now this is not meant to be morbid.....I do not have any life-threatening disease that I know of, I have no thoughts of suicide, and I hope to live decades and decades longer, even though my beliefs are that this is not ultimately my decision.

Anywho, so I'm going to pass away as each of you are going to pass away and those left behind will be left with nothing but memories to hold inside of their hearts.

When I pass away, I want there to be a celebration.  A celebration that is happy and uplifting and "by gracious....she's in heaven and chillin' with all of her peeps."  At my memorial service (that's right kids no's going to scientific research....because I really don't need it and perhaps some young doctor can use it to learn the tricks of his trade and save other lives), I hope somebody attests to the fact that family has always been and will always be number one to me. 

I hope that somebody says that my mom is my best friend and that I am a daddy's girl through and through.  I hope that somebody says that somewhere along the way I made them laugh, or brightened their day, or that I was generally and most often light-hearted and happy and smiling.  I hope that somebody talks about how much I love "B" and how playful our relationship is and how he always makes me feel protected and safe.  Someone might say that I always felt that I never deserved the kind of love that "B" provides until he stood in front of me on a golf course in my hometown.  I hope that somebody mentions the fact that I love to dance, and if given the choice to only do one thing for the rest of my life.....I WOULD DANCE.


So one day I'm going to be gone.....

....but my hope is that anytime you see a dancing windsock you think of me.  When I come back to visit, I will be back as a brightly colored, grinning from ear to ear, dancing and grooving to some beat in my head...windsock. 

....Hopefully one of the ones with the cool hair on top bee-boppin' in the wind.   

....Hopefully a hot pink one with arms stretched to the heavens.

Because let's be honest.....'ve never driven past one of those and not smiled. 

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